Ep3 - Potential

Welcome to the Rebrand Revolution. In this episode Sidonie unpacks one of the words that simultaneously thrills and fills us with dread. "Potential" - a favourite of parents, bosses, authority figures and the self-development crowd, she discovers why the word messes with our heads so much and what a take-back might allow us to find in ourselves.

• Show Notes

  In this episode, I reference the following:

• Audio Transcription

  This podcast is recorded on Kaurna Country we acknowledge and pay our respects to the Kaurna people as the traditional owners and custodians of this land.

  My name's Sidonie Henbest, and you're listening to Rebrand Revolution. Welcome to episode three. I hope this finds you well, and whatever you do whilst you're listening to podcasts, I hope you're doing it well. Each episode of Rebrand Revolution, I will pick one term or word that makes that part of the lexicon of pop psychology, self development, self improvement, leadership, all of those jazzy things that come to us via all methods of media these days, and most of which make us feel like less of ourselves, even though, for all intents and purposes, they're about making us better. We'll take one of these terms, and in 15 quick minutes, I'll give it a bit of a snappy turnaround. We'll look at the good, the bad and the ugly of it, and I'll propose a rebrand, or some kind of refresh to that term. It's meant as a little bit of a makeover for our heads, not our faces.

  So welcome to episode three. I would like to introduce the term for this episode, and it's actually a word, and that word is potential. Often paired with words like true, full or realized or even unlocking. I am talking about that terrifying marker of worthiness and achievement that we call potential. It first appears in childhood, often in the context of above average facility in artistic, athletic or even academic areas, and quickly becomes a measure of expectation. In fact, by the time we journey through the primary and secondary school systems, I'm not sure any of us emerged unscathed. I think at least a teacher or an authority figure implies, or even outright tells us at some stage that we are, quote, not living up to our potential in some way, shape or form, right? I mean, who doesn't know? Or was the kid with a report card that said "Sidonie shows considerable potential in this subject, but fails to apply herself consistently".

  So very early on in our little human lives, potential is introduced to seemingly elevate us, but then to measure and reprimand us, basically ensuring that we learn what is expected of us and how we will almost certainly fail to live up to that expectation. It's harsh, isn't it? And unless you are an exceptional sports person or creative individual, this may well be how you experience how the world views and values the idea of what could be. I separate people of exceptional skill and talent in things like sports and the creative areas, because their relationship and the conversation that goes on for them about potential is actually worthy of an entire episode of itself. It's it's a it's a much more complex game. It is likely that your first and most formative impression of this idea of potential comes through the way grown ups speak to young children, and in a lot of ways, it's contained within that environment, probably coming to a peak at the time we finish school and potentially decide what we're doing after that, and until the rise of self development and self improvement as a an area of cultural obsession that would have likely been where that story ended for you, before we get too carried away.

  Now actually feels like a good time to define our subject, because this one is a little tricky and is going to require, well, a little bit of listening and thinking. My definitions today come from the Oxford English Dictionary. Potential. Adjective - "having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future". An example in language, "a campaign to woo potential customers". Okay, noun: "latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness". Example, in sentence, "a young broadcaster with great potential." And a third definition, and this one is the scientific definition, and it comes from physics: "the quantity determining the energy of mass in a gravitational field or of the charge in an electric field", and a use in sentence, "a change in gravitational potential". So we've got the capacity to develop into something in the future. In other words, become a customer, a potential customer. We have the noun this latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success and usefulness. I think there's something in there. And our physics definition about energy and potential, Interesting, huh? The adjective and the noun kind of mean different things, and the scientific meaning is something else. Again, I don't want to get stuck in the definitions, but I think they're a great place to start.

  And speaking of good places to start, I'm going to start with a little music theater quote. In the words of Mary Sunshine from the musical Chicago, "there's a little bit of good in everyone". So let's start out with the good in its purest form. To me, the word potential literally buzzes with energy. It's synonymous with possibility, curiosity, imagination and future. It is expansive. It is also a recognition by others or from others, of the brightness of the light that shines within us. It says, I see you in your highest, most awesome form. And in that sense, it's also a call to action, a reminder of what is possible, and a form of social accountability that says, I care about you, and I care about you being the best form of yourself you can be. And in these senses, it could even be seen as a connection or a thread that links us to our divine self, the part of our self that is bigger than this incarnation and this physical form, the part of us that is, well, part of stardust, and in that sense, a kind of remembering of who we really are beautiful, right? So if the good is recognition and remembering of our most glorious self, where does this go wrong? Exactly?

  Well, I think it is when it becomes a means for others to manipulate us, whether it's through the setting of expectations when we are young, or the social molding and control that comes from this idea that we don't meet expectations or that we are not living up to other people's expectations of us when the usefulness or success aspect of potential subverts the expansive. Okay, so that's not pretty sure, but is it ugly? Well, I think it can be. As a sidebar, I just want to point out that I use the terminology "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", because it's cute and it's part of our pop culture. When I say the ugly, what I really mean, though, is things that limit us in life, and specifically when other people limit us, or we allow other people to limit us. And I observe that this is particularly the case when the idea of potential is seen in the self development or self improvement industries. I was going to say movement, but categorically, it is an industry. It is big, big business, and that business relies upon us, not having enough within ourselves to do this work and to find this stuff for ourselves. And this is where we see potential paired with really evocative words like full or unlock, or my personal favorite, true. "Are you realizing your true potential?" And this really bothers me for a couple of reasons. It says you are essentially failing yourself at this very moment, because somehow you are not in a perfect state of realized potential. As if there is such a thing as a perfect state of realized potential or a fixed state of realized potential. There ain't no destination on the train called realized potential. And I think the people who operate in this space know that full well, but they know that we have a deep yearning for the sense of it, and so they sell it. And that's where you get the second type that really bugs me, which is this implication that only by working with this celebrated guru, or this taking this special course, will you be able to achieve your potential in 12 steps, 10 weeks, or whatever it is, but this idea that only by buying what someone else is selling will you be able to achieve what is an implicit state within self? Do? And the other bit, and this is actually the bit that probably bugs me the most, is that in all of this, there is an implication that only by striving, and only by having all of these things, will we be able to meet our potential. I don't know about you, but that sounds exhausting.

  My favorite film growing up was the Princess Bride. I don't know that that needs any explanation. It was an iconic film of its time. I'm still waiting for Wesley, but that's okay. There's a line in that film said by the actor, Mandy Patinkin, playing the inimitable sword swinging in Inigo Montoya, "you keep saying that word, I do not think it means what you think it means".

  And this is where my pitch, or my proposal for a rebrand comes in. My take is this deep at the heart of the definition of potential lies a trap. On one hand, we have usefulness, success and destination, and on the other hand, we have expansive, curiosity, energy, journey, if you like, we have fixed versus dynamic. One might even say, do versus be, and in the definition of the word, we have a fundamental tension. And I suspect that a lot of our discomfort with the word potential comes from this cognitive dissonance that occurs within the definition. This got very academic. I didn't mean to, but I wonder whether the answer actually lies with the physicists, and that is to say, the potential is not a fixed state, right? It is an expression of energy, of expansion and aliveness. It is not a list of things to do. It is a way of being. It's a state of being, if you like. And I would go so far as to say that I suspect we are most likely to meet our potential when we are reminded of our most curious, expansive, light filled selves, and we are clear about the words we use and mindful about the power and responsibility of wielding them. Ask yourself this: if you can recognize, reflect and remind yourself and others of the spark, the shine and the gloriousness that lives within you, then, would that help you feel like a more alive version of yourself? In that recognition, reflection and reminder, would you perhaps experience a state of openness, expansion of possibility, of potential?

  So this is less of a rebrand and more of a remembering, perhaps something like that. Anyway, if this conversation has sparked a little bit of curiosity in you, or made you think twice about any of these ideas, then do me a favor and share this podcast, get other people thinking and talking about the words we use every day, and the way that language can both uplift us and limit us. The beauty about the time we live in is this is a time where thanks to the power of media and thanks to the speed at which information travels around the planet, and that human beings consume that information every day. We are actually in the throes of immense possibility. I find it so exciting, and I think you do too, because I think that's why you're listening, share the information, start a conversation over the dinner table, or with your barista or with the dog. It all counts. They're all sentient beings. I'm Sidonie Henbest, and until next time, keep being curious.

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